At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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