Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
