Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
