Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dear god my vagina.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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