but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Randomize
