Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
