I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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