Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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