Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
