break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
