What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
