I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
