No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's shark week go big or go home
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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