"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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