Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
