Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
