I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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