Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
