Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
