It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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