420 ftw
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
