i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
