i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
