If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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