so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
