i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
