You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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