my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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