Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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