sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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