1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
