dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
