Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
