hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
