If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
