He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
