Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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