im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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