New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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