Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
