I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
