did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And then my night got REAL pukey
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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