how can u be prego again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
