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We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
