we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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