the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
