I puked a lego.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
