I wish I only lived at night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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