It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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