It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
