He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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