i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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