is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I AM VODKA MAN
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
