Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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